My small Wishlist ;-)

I wrote this on my 3rd Art Of Living anniversary. On my 3rd Art Of Living anniversary, Gurudev told in Satsang "Why to sing someone else's song? Each one of you are song. Sing your own song!" So here it goes

My Dear Guru,

If I ever work for someone, may it be only you my dear manager

If I eat something, let you and only you be the enjoyer

If I ever create something, let it be you my driving factor

If I ever long for someone, let it be only you my care taker

If I ever aspire to become something, let it be only you my destination

If I ever get impressed by anyone, let me know its you in all my dear

If I desperately search outside, remind me to go inwards oh my designer

If I get diverted from the path, skilfully bring me back oh my partner

If I ever miss a satsang, you better miss me in the audience

When I dress-up nicely, look at me with single pointed attention

If I cook food, you better sit chupchap and eat like a food lover

If I ever run behind anything, let it be only you oh my attraction

When I speak, let it spread fragrance of you oh my inner corner

When I crack joke, may you roll and roll on floor in laughter

If I write something ,let it make others uplift on my driving factor

When I do seva, let me become you and act as you oh my creator

If I get caught up in my intellect, may I see only you in each particle

If I look back in past, let me only recollect guru stories oh my writer

If adveta is true, let it be only and only you apart from me oh my dear

If life is a dream, let it be filled with you and only you oh my imagination!

Simply Yours :-)
Neha

Special Love Story !!!

I heard many love stories till now. Almost all of them have same set of ups and downs, excitement, feverishness, fear and romance! But some love story has very special quality. Specially the love for Guru/God/Self. These are few very rear conversations that I have heard between lovers. I was very lucky to witness the same during satsang in presence of gurudev.

A guy stands up in audience and tells Guruji "Guruji I just love the way you walk, talk, answer questions and all the fun and naughty things you do. I love you Guruji!" Guruji smiles - "Oooo.. You have no choice! (laughter) (after few sec of silence) You know all qualities you appreciate in me are inside you. Start appreciating them. It will grow!"

Another guy stood up in audience during same satsang and said  "Guruji I do not have any question. I just want say (after a bit silence with shivering voice) I love you!." Guruji tells him in gesture "I love you too". He continue saying with even more shaky voice "I can't believe I have told you this! My whole body is shivering" Guruji smiles at him.

Another guy stood up and says.. "I have no idea why I start crying when I see you" Guruji said "Tears are obvious! When one see his beloved, tears rolls down. Knots in the heart opens up. In scriptures they say 2 signs of sadguru. (1) Tears rolls down when one see the guru (2) All questions disappear in the presence of Guru"

All those who have met Guruji have experienced both of the signs.

I experienced all kind of love, love for parents, friends, sisters, relationship, love for sweets, love for laptop. None of them could turn tears of misery into tears of gratitude for long term. None of them could make me realize that "I am that". All love put me away from my center. If there is any love in which difference of me and you disappears, its love of the Guru! Lucky are those who cry in this love ! Thanks for choosing me :-)

Love,
Neha

Life and a Movie

Well.. do you like watching movies? I have been in love with movies. By the way did you observe a unbelievebly miraculous truth about movie? Guess what? .... The movie actually happens somewhere far away on screen (or not happening anywhere! It's just an imagination of director ;)) yet, we laugh, cry, get angry, get upset, feel in love as if the movie is real. Now think again.. do you see some similarity between movie and life?

Did you observe that something inside you which is actually watching events of life happening around is the same something which watches a movie as well. And the something inside you which gets entangled in characters and script of a movie is the same something which gets stuck with events and people of real life as well (if it can be called real).

During watching movie or thinking about movie afterwards did you notice that if at all you get too much carried away by the emotions of movie, there is something inside us which wakes us up and says "ahh! relax its just a movie!" Now if the same something inside you can be woken up to its full potential has ability to recognize and say "ahh! its just a life!" (a 5D movie)

5D? Whats is that? Well.. if I consider 2D movie as combination if visual effect and sound on 2D screen. 5D can be considered as combination of vision, sound, touch, taste and smell with 3D screen. :-) Now wait and imagine being inside a 5D movie! Imagine exactly how would it be? Now look around. Are you really sure you are not in a 5D movie?

Life gives one extra cool feature over a movie i.e one can choose to participate as an actor in 5D movie. Yeah! to make sure you heard it right I reiterate ... one can participate in it as an actor and not as a director ! ;-)

Realizing this brings sudden rest and peace. The events of life which was cause of disturbance before when realized as just a 5D movie becomes source of entertainment! Being dynamic when participating as actor and simultaneously resting inside knowing its just a 5D movie is the real skill.

Love,
Neha

I don't miss Sri Sri !!

After a huge storm of emotions, I got it! Thanks to Vinod, to be there whether I be rude, sensible, stubborn, angry, blunt, confused and ... (feel free to complete the list ;-)) Without you, my journey to him (Guru / Sri Sri) is incomplete! Without you my this very life may have gone a waste! Thanks for being there! 

Thanks to Mangesh, for all the pictures in the blog. Copyright reserved :-)

My dear Guru,

Why should I get disturbed by a situation

When its you who created it around me

When Its you who smile throughout it in me

When its you make me grow at the end of it

Why should I ever dis-love anyone

When its you who is breathing in them as me

its you who is playing with me through them

its you who wants to bring skillfulness in me 

Why should I get disturbed by cravings and aversions

When its you who is present in them all

When its you who make them raise within me

Its you in which they get settled at the end of it

Why should I bother about my future

When its you who is going to decide it

its you who is going to be with me throughout it

its you who is going to remain constant within me

Why should I miss you at all?

When you are always there in and around me

When you witness present moment through me

When you are present in me as me

Why should I bother about enlightenment

When you are the light in light within me

When you are source and cause of me

When I be a Fool or intelligent you are me

Love,

Neha :-)

Shhh... Its secret to meet Sri Sri !!!

This story is about very very special person who is going to reveal me secret of how to meet Guruji! She is my co-teacher for this course, GeethaJi.

Today is last day of the course in ashram. And to our excitement we got appointment to meet Guruji with all our course participants. Ashram teacher took appointment for all of us along with ashram course participants. As the course got over, we were 15 minutes late to reach the venue! :-( Ashram team was already inside! The guard was not allowing us to go in! Secretariat claims that it's the Ashram teacher who took appointment and not us! We didn't had anything to prove she actually had taken permission for us. When we called Ashram teacher her mobile was switched off! Ahh... welcome to divine chaos! ;-)

Some were busy in convincing Secretariat, some busy in talking to guard. And nothing was not working! GeetaJi, who just arrived asked me what happened? I explained her full story. She just looked at me with sparking eyes and said "No one is there in between you and the guru. None of these guards or any teacher, Secretariat, SwamiJi exists! Its only your connection to the Guru!" That very moment I closed my eyes and told Guruji in my mind "Guruji, please meet these participants!" I have not yet finish this line and I hear a voice asking "What happened? Send them inside!" (He was one of the member of Secretariats) as I open my eyes and see some of us were already inside!

Geetaji looked at me and said "I told you!" I was feeling so lucky to be in her presence! Having this conviction is the real wealth! And here I, was standing beside a wealthy lady! Wealthy me!!! :-P

After this incident I was wondering how much power does this so called real physical world has? We judge people by their physical appearance, their expressions, their speech but what is it that drive all of it? What is it which trigger a thought in one's mind? What is it which makes emotions changes for no reason! Why do we like something now and some other time want to go for some other options! What is it which drives the physical world? If physical world is just a toy of unseen energy why do I associate my anger, jealousy and non-acceptance to a physical form of a person? 

I remember, once I asked Guruji can you give me boon to meet you whenever I want? He replied "मैं तो बस ध्यान में मिलता हुँ!" (I meet only in meditation!) So true! I was caught up in outer world and did not realize I already had a jackpot! If at all there is something more beautiful than his physical presence, it's the state of deep meditation! No pleasure can beat the pleasure of deep meditation! Those who have done "Advance Meditation Course" and "Sahaj Samadhi" know it!  :-)

JaiGurudev,

Neha.

And I fainted ;-P

My health condition continues to remain poor. And one fine fresh morning, the world turns blurred! I drink little bit water, open my eyes and world turns blurred again. This time quite intense. "Ahh! who the hell is interested in looking blurred things" I thought and I decide to close my eyes. The feeling after closing the eyes is exactly same as what I feel after taking my "sahaj samadhi" mantra! I choose go inwards into the world of bliss, peace and nothingness. When I open my eyes I see two people are lifting me! Opps! looks like I fainted! ;-P

It was strange experience to come back again in my senses! I slowly open my eyes. First thing that I see from bottom of my eyes is my own body. The clothes and body looks familiar! I give little strain on my memory thinking where did I see this before? In no time I recollect "Oh its me!". Oh I fainted! followed by concern "Am I fine!", "Am I safe!" When I figured out everything is pretty cool I had fishy smile of surprise "Oh man! I fainted! First time in my life, I fainted!" Strange thing was as I come back to my senses, I feel so calm and serene as if I just woke up after deep mediation/rest.

Question is where did I go when I fainted? I have not idea what happened to my body. Off-course it had fallen, but I didn't feel any pain neither I have any idea about how did it fall. I had no connection to my body whatsoever! But I was! I definitely was somewhere! I was existing! Though not associated to my body but I was! The experience was quiet similar to that of a mediation! Now another question arise where do I go when I meditate! Forget about it where do I go when I sleep? I am definitely not the body! I can and did exist without any connection to the body! Then what is it that is connecting me to this body right now?

Am I really my body? I was not connected to my body but I still WAS! Am I my five senses? I was not sensing anything but I still WAS! Am I my intellect which discriminates right and wrong? Nothing inside was discriminating anything! I was simply resting in peace, resting in blissful thoughtless state! Am I my memory? Ahh to my surprise I had no attachment to any person, object, event or anything when I fainted! Just a feeble acknowledgement that "Guru IS!". "Guru is" not in physical form but "Guru" as tatva/principal is! Just like I was! Am I my ego? :-D :-D There was no question of ego as I alone was! There was no one else to feel the ego! There was no concept of "world"! 

Then who exactly am I? Which existed! Which WAS! Who is it that was resting in peace? Who is it that is seeing the world through five senses? Who is it that is experiencing the concept called "world"?

Jai Gurudev,
Neha

Answer By Gurudev !

I can't resist myself from writing this post! Today it's not first time when Dinu (Dinesh Ghodke) behaved like Guru! I recall my advance course with Dinesh (Maitri hall at Ashram). The advance course was going superb. Satsang was going on. But I was not happy. I told Guruji in my mind that "All this is good Guruji! but you are not here! If you were here you would have sung me!" Immediately I don't know from where Dinesh comes on stage (till then I was not even aware that he was there in the hall) and start singing! I mean I have never heard him singing in any advance course ever! It was like Guruji is telling me where are you looking me? I am here right in front of you! My tears started rolling down out of contentment! As Guruji says "मुझ मे और ज्ञानी में भेद नहीं है!" 

The last Happiness course I have taught was in complete sickness! I was not able to walk comfortably, take warm-ups! But I am sure that none of my students could identify my health condition! That's the grace! Though I was very grateful to get an opportunity to teach course, what was bothering me is I couldn't attend Satsang! Finally on the last day of course, I plan to go to ashram with my course participants! :-D And imagine what happens?? We have not even started warm-ups and Guruji comes in car, and says "Hiii" to all of us! :D 

I am still surprised from where and how Dinesh miraculously come to take a session for course participants! Thanks to Rajni and Nivedita for organising this! It was just few days back when Dinu came on the last day of my own first Art Of Living course! (Called YES!+ at that time) Everything appears exactly like a dream! Imagine what happens next! Even today he talks on the same topic i.e. "Love"!  ;-)

I was sitting quietly in the end of participants wondering if this is dream or reality or what I think as reality is actually a dream! ;-) Wondering, how much of transformation has happened to me in just two and half years when I did my first Art Of Living course! I was feeling so grateful for this path and Guruji! But still I was stuck with last 6 days of satsangs that I had to miss! I really wanted to get answer from the guru for my last poem! (Refer http://chaitanyaneha.blogspot.in/2014/05/answer-me-gurudev.html) 

At one point of time I just told Guruji in my mind that "All this is fine Guruji but you didn't answer my question!" And here Dinesh, I don't know from where started recalling what Guruji told in satsangs which I had to miss because of evening course. I got excited! Something inside me gave me intuition that this must be the answer to my poem by Guru that he gave during last few satsangs! Dinesh says, Guruji told in satsang that "When you get doubt if I love you or not or if I am your guru then this doubt itself is a prove that it is! Because what do we doubt on? Positive or negative? If somebody says "I love you" we doubt on their love. But if somebody says "I hate you" We immediately reply back and saying "I hate you too" we do not doubt the negative. So if you are getting doubt feel good because there is surely something good and positive on the other side. Feel happy about your doubt! 

Love,

Neha